Long Hard Road Out of Hell

I have always been a huge fan of Marilyn Manson. I loved his music, performance, writings, appearance, well, everything. I admired him and in the same level as Hitler, Mao, and even Nietzsche and Karl Marx. Because he is the only individual of our age who is so powerful and strong. I was heavily influenced by him since I was a kid. Actually, my interest in philosophy, religion, fame, and freedom started with listening to him. His lyrics struck me in the head. I admired him, appreciated him. It is normal for me to have interest in the life of a man who I admire.

Through the reading of his book, I became to understand him more than ever. His ideas, his life, his experiences, his philosophy, I can see them clearly in his book. His life is a story of a worm, who is scared and abused, struggle his way up to get wings and became a hero, Antichrist.

His childhood is miserable and full of abuses. The first chapter is about a young Brian Warner's childhood experiences, filled with abuses, psychological and physical. His grandfather was a fetish who keeps dildos and porno in his basement and play with them occasionally. He went to a Christian school where he started to hate Christianity. He was afraid of the apocalypse, he was afraid of the teachers, he was afraid of God, he was afraid of man. He wrote :

"It became clear that the suffering they were praying to be released from was a suffering they had imposed on themselves. The beast they lived in fear of was really themselves. It was man, not some mythological demon, that was going to destroy man in the end. And this beast had been created out of their fear"

Obviously, his childhood life taught him to become individualist, to deconstruct the institution, to survive only by himself. He stated :

"I've always believed that a person is smart. It's people that are stupid." (page 32)

The second chapter, named DEFORMATOGRAPHY, is about how he struggled from the worm to have the wings. His struggle of becoming a rock star from a desperate boy who writes horror stories, craving to have sex. That is the crossroad of his life. He have to choose being a typical American, get a job, get married, and get a life, or being a bad ass musician and performer to deliver his hatred for the world, to overcome himself. Wisely, he chose latter, he chose the road to hell. He wrote:

"I wanted to be strong and independent, to think for myself and help other people think for themselves. I couldn't (and still can't) tolerate someone who's a fucking weakling living out of a spoon and a needle." (page 124)

The road to hell is paved with good rejection letters. Becoming nobody to somebody, overcoming oneself, isn't an easy job at all! He was rejected, betrayed many times through his struggle. But every superstar has one common mindset: stubbornness. He was unable to give up. He wrote:

"It's always been a game of not compromising but also knowing your limit and doing the best you can within those limits." (page 150)

The final chapter of the book, named Reflecting God, is Mr.Manson's reflections on his life after becoming a superstar, a god. He finally become the enemy of Christianity, goddess of blasphemy. He was hated, he was feared by America. At the same time, he was loved, worshipped, as a god. People accepted him. He finally become the man that he feared. The man that everyone feared. He became the Antichrist Superstar!

His life was just as I imagined. To become a huge star, you must overcome many abuses, pain, and many hard works. One thing that interested, and surprised, me about his life was his passion for his girlfriends. He never cheated on them. He may sleep with others but actually he never cheated them mentally. In fact, he had much passion in his relationships. 

"Not only are love and hate such closely related emotions, but it's a lot easier to hate someone you've cared about than someone you never have." (page 126)

"She was the only person left for whom I was capable of feeling any love, and to lose her would be to destroy my only chance of returning to the normal world of feelings, sentiment and passion - to destroy, in essence, myself" (page 236)

Throughout his book, I can see opinions on religion, morality, drugs and sexuality. His moral is destroyed, in the same way he destroyed himself. In fact, he doesn't have any moral rules. He is the individual, he is the God for himself, and he judges himself. He doesn't follow any set of morality laid down by institutions or religion. He created his morality, in the same way he created himself. He is the perfect revelation of Superman by Nietzsche.